Why Does Sex Decrease Over the Life of a Relationship??

Why is it that it seems the longer that you are in a relationship with a person that your sexual activities together become less and less frequent?  Have you ever been in a new relationship?  Usually you are spending a lot of time being intimate with one another.  Have you ever been in a long relationship?  Eventually it is just not the way it used to be.  There can be many reasons for this to happen.

    • Fatigue and Stress-One or both of you are just that tired.  In today’s society both partners usually have to work full-time jobs to keep all the bills paid and the house running.  Many times this can be a bit exhausting causing you to want to just come home and relax or go to bed and not have that extra energy to put into intimacy.  Many couples have children and from experience they are a second job all their own.  Work and kids can be very stressful which can lead to just not being in the mood.

    • Lack of Desire-At the beginning of a relationship you are both new to each other.  There is usually a strong sexual desire between the two of you that you act upon every chance you get.  Eventually, that desire begins to slowly fade away after a few years.  You just do not want to take that time and effort to be intimate with one another or you are just not that interested anymore.

  • Just Bored-Bored with work, bored with social life, just bored.  Being bored with you life at the moment can lead to not wanting to do much.  This includes getting in the mood.  Sometimes after a while you just begin to get into a routine and it is no longer exciting and spur of the moment.


These are only a few examples and reasons why a couples sex life begins to decrease over time.  There are many ways though to remedy this situation if both of you are willing to do so.  You can begin by having open conversations with each other about it.  You can try new things or old things that you don’t do anymore.  Bring a “toy” or some other kind of item to the bed to spice things up.  But in some cases one of the partners may not realize or think that your sex life is declining.  Sex does not make a relationship but it does play a big role.  If you truly love each other and are committed to the long run, then you will find a way to bring back that excitement, desire, and lust you both once had for one another.

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